Sex-Positivity Leads to Healthier Relationships

While sex-positive attitudes are on the increase, the amount of sex people are having appears to be decreasing. Admittedly, there are many societal factors contributing to this such as long working hours, however it's important to give your sex life the attention it deserves, especially if you're in a long-term relationship.

Sex-Positive Lesbian Couple

To be ‘Sex-Positive’ is to be aligned with a modern lifestyle.

Sex-positivity is the current buzzword when it comes to mature yet engaging sex talk, innovate adult content and the ever diversifying sexual landscape. Why has the term been adopted by so many, so quickly? A key reason for this is the powerful message it encompasses with such simple wording. To be sex-positive, is to not feel ashamed of your sexuality but to embrace it in a way you deem to be appropriate for yourself and how you choose to engage with it. It’s not restricted by or associated with any preconceptions. Some people are very open about their sexuality while some people prefer to be a bit more private about their sex life and yet are still sex-positive. Quite simply, it is the belief in being an individual that’s confident with their sexuality and their sexual nature.

From there, some people have chosen to expatiate sub-divisions or areas of discussion, where it is often incorporated into people’s work or hobby as well as their lifestyle i.e. sex-positive writers, producers, performers, bloggers, health professionals etc. Also it is often associated with new diverse content categories such as feminist, LGBTQ, couples focused etc.

Sex-Positivity in relationships

So we’ve clarified how an individual and working professionals can be sex-positive, but how about as a couple? There are several parameters to consider if you wish to have a sex-positive relationship:

  • Mutual love and respect 
  • Good communication
  • Patience and understanding
  • Curiosity and open-mindedness
  • Honesty and trust

Basically all the same ingredients that goes into a healthy, functional relationship. Communication is absolutely vital; you need to be able to talk openly and honestly with each other about your interests, things you like and don’t like, things you’re curious about and whether or not you would consider trying something new. Of course, it’s a given that there needs to be a mutual sense of love, respect and trust. Even play partners need to feel a sense of trust, security, respect and feelings of affection, not just lust, in order to have great regular sex. Bring all of these factors into your sex life and it will never be unsatisfying. 

Incorporating sex into your busy schedule

When it comes to managing a hectic, modern lifestyle... the 'to do list' can easily put strain on a person / couple's sex life. In general, many of us find ourselves working many more hours than we anticipated, to then come home and try keep on top of all the housework, taking care of food shopping, sorting out meals and actually have some kind of down time. This becomes even more difficult for those who have children, particularly young children. The truth is, you're not always going to have time or energy for high octane romping sessions, but you can still make time for intimacy.

Here are some pointers for finding more time for sex:

  1. If you've had a long day at work and don't have much energy, why not curl up on the sofa or in bed and watch a movie. Start teasing each other with kissing and touching and see how quickly it escalates. It doesn't have to be room shattering, you can take your time and have gentle, passionate sex where the focus is on every little movement and how the sensations feel. This is likely to create high levels of arousal and pleasure. Even if you don't end up having full sex, you can have a lot of fun with oral sex and sensual touching.
  2. The quickie is all time classic. If you've got an hour before you have to leave home to attend a family do, why not suggest having a 15 minute session? You'd be surprised at just how quickly your partner could become aroused by the sight of you get undressed and stripping their clothes off. Intense, passionate sex can send the senses in overdrive, especially if you know all their 'weak spots'. 
  3. Morning sex. People talk about it a lot and it's definitely not one to scoff at. It is universally known that men tend to experience high levels of arousal in the mornings and sometimes wake up with 'morning wood'. Got 20 minutes until you have to get up? Why not tease his member with your hands and go from there. Admiring how beautiful she looks when she starts to stir? Why not caress her body and let her know how good she feels. Morning sex is a fantastic way to kick start your day; the natural release of oxytocin and endorphins will certainly help to put you in a good mood. 

Remember, sex doesn't have to be a marathon. The important thing is that you feel emotionally connected, physically wanted and are able to discuss your sexuality with your partner. These factors play a huge part in just how much 'afterglow' you will experience afterwards and how pleasant it feels during. 


Written by Brenda Adiyiah for Burn the Night

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