Guys, Size DOESN'T Matter: The Male Obsession With Penis Size

There are troves of books, articles and studies from sexual health professionals, researchers and dating experts that confirm size really isn't a major factor when it comes to great sex. Yet, a large number of men still have an obsession about the size of their penis.

Image Composition: Burn the Night.

Image Composition: Burn the Night.

The question is, WHY? With all the body-positive campaigns, you would have thought that this would also translate to the male population, so that men wouldn't be so worried about the size of their bodies or their penis. Google has revealed otherwise.

Google internet histories always cough up some interesting results when it comes to sex related searches. If you haven't been online so much over the last few years, you may be unaware but Google does in fact collect your browser history and retains a whooping amount of Big Data that is then often used by third parties. Even Incognito mode on Chrome isn't as private as you may think. However, there are identification and privacy laws in place to protect the anonymity of users, unless of course, there is illegal activity taking place online and a case is opened by the authorities.

So what anonymous data could be collected that might of interest to people? sex-related queries of course. 

Former Google Data Scientist Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, recently published book called 'Everybody Lies: Big Data, New Data and What The Internet Can Tell Us About Who We Really Are' that discusses what people are actually looking at while surfing the net; complete with their corresponding statistics.

Staggeringly, Seth has spent the last four years compiling data from the entirety of Facebook and Wikipedia as well as collecting huge amounts of anonymous Google data and PornHub search results / video views. 

With this new information coming to light, many of our male readers may want to read the following attentively, as it will finally put the debate to bed once and for all.


Men Worry About Penis Size More Than Women

According to the New York Post“For every search women make about a partner’s phallus,” Stephens-Davidowitz writes, “men make roughly 170 searches about their own.” 

Generally, when women are concerned about the size of their partner's penis, it's not because they think it's 'too small'. In fact, it's usually for the opposite reason. “more than 40 percent of complaints about a partner’s penis size say that it’s too big.” 

While some may prefer men to be 'well endowed', a lot of women prefer men that are around average size, as it tends to be the most pleasurable, especially when it comes to the stimulation of the cervix as it is less likely to become painful.

Cosmo's 2015 poll also showed that 89% of millennial women were not worried about their partner's penis size. 56% of them stated that their partner's penis size was around the 'average' mark. 


Science Confirms Average Size

A lot of people know / think they know that the average penis length is around 5". What they may not necessarily know is that the figure accounts for when it's erect not flaccid. 

"According to a study published in the British Journal of Urology International (BJUI), the average length of a flaccid penis is 3.61 inches, while the average length of an erect penis is 5.16 inches. The average girth is 3.66 inches for a flaccid penis and 4.69 inches for an erect penis. Girth is the circumference of the penis at its widest section." - Healthline.


Societal Pressure on the Penis

Of course, these concerns do not arise out of thin air. A significant portion of these anxieties stem from the distortion of reality, due to the media, hollywood and porn fuelling the perception that 'to be a desirable, attractive man to women, you need to have a massive cock'. A long with many other social misconceptions, this does more harm then good. It's the same type of body shaming that women experience, leaving many with the feeling that they are 'not good enough' because they don't have bigger curves, a smaller waistline or zero cellulite. 

DrEd conducted a survey on participants from the US and 9 European countries on the subject of penis size and their findings were quite interesting. Again, men thought the average and ideal penis size was larger than what the general census was for women. Women believed the average to be 5.4" and the ideal to be 6.2", whereas men believed average to be 5.5" and the ideal to be 6.6". 

Photo credit: DrEd.

Photo credit: DrEd.

Now when you look at the graph for national location, you will also see an even bigger difference in opinion and perception.

Photo credits: DrEd.

Photo credits: DrEd.

For more results from this study, we recommend taking a look at the report from DrEd.

Obtaining such information from social studies are vital in understanding the human psyche when it comes to sex and relationships. Such results can aid sexologists, scientists and medical doctors in providing accurate information and advice to those who are affected by stigma and the publication of misinformation. These are topics that need to be appropriately addressed and scientifically accurate information to be reiterated early in a person's life, such as during sex education at school. It's important to ease teenage anxieties in relation to sex and their anatomy, so that false notions do not have  the space and time to germinate in a young and impressionable mind, otherwise it can lead to a number of insecurities and potentially affect sexual and social interactions for years to come.


Utilise Your Tool

In order to have a happy and fun-filled sex life, it falls back to the same factors that we discussed in our sex-positivity article: good communication, openness, honesty, trust, passion and mutual respect. What makes a person tick differs greatly between individuals; the important thing is finding what works for you and your partner. There is a large array of positions and techniques you can try that will work best for your anatomic structure and sexual preferences. It's never a 'one fit for all' situation for anyone, so don't rule your pleasure out just because you think you may be 'small' or below the average.

Now stop worrying and go get laid!


Written by Brenda Adiyiah for Burn the Night

What are your thoughts on this subject?

Leave your comments in the box below.