5 Destructive Dating Terms Ruining Love and Relationships
As time moves forward, the dating world becomes even more complicated. With terms like 'stealthing' and 'zombieing' becoming common place in the vocabulary of dating millennials, what does this ultimately mean for love and relationships?
What is so special about TIME? Apparently, it changes every TIME [Pun Intended]. Some people believe that if the core aspects of a good relationship hasn’t changed along with the passage of time, it has to be ‘LOVE’.
Yesterday was my parents' anniversary; looking back at their journey and constant friendly banter with one another made me realise that ‘OLD is indeed GOLD’. On every anniversary, it’s a family tradition to sit back and listen to their youthful days of romance. Even though apparently, it’s a BIG HELL NO when it comes to my own dates with my girlfriend. Leaving hypocrisy aside, after listening to their stories, it made me do a comparative study on how many of us treat our relationship nowadays. Within split seconds, words like 'trust', 'morality' and 'loyalty' mocked me and our entire generation.
In an age where we expect to find the true love of our life through an app that promises us the ‘RIGHT MATCH’ by swiping RIGHT with our index finger, we have to take our chances with it and travel the road full of uncertainties. The best that we can do is to consider them as perks.
One of the human mind's past times is to play word games and create new terminologies when it comes to love and relationships. It helps us to explore what’s really happening in the world and the psychology with which the young generation are approaching this very concept. The following are some popular terminologies being used in relation to 'dating', which will educate us as a whole about some of the behaviours. Time to discuss them.
Perhaps the most crucial and defining moment in a relationship. 'Stealthing' is an act where a man has sex with his partner on the pretext of using a condom (protection). However, in reality, he develops a habit of removing it in the middle of the act and proceeds further without telling his partner. Non-consensual condom removal is indeed considered to be sexual assault. However, very little or no strict laws have been implemented for such cases. These incidences are particularly hazardous as it exposes their partner to potential STIs, HIV and in the case of females who aren't using any other contraceptives, the possibility of pregnancy. This ‘trend’ has been picking up steam ever since the last decade. To the men who have done this or have considered doing this, don't be that guy. Do the right thing!
If you ever have been part of the ‘extras’ of your school baseball or basketball team, you'll be able to relate to this concept quite well. Many millennials even like the very concept of being ‘in a complicated relationship’ and they are usually unsure about themselves, their future and what not. In regards to the term 'benching', it's just like how you want to play for your team but the coach asks you to sit out since he is unsure about your performance. In the same manner, one partner in a casual relationship keeps the other one on hold (benched) and explores other options. If nothing better comes along, he or she usually goes back to the one who was ‘benched’ in the first place. Not very nice for the one being benched.
Many people consider this term as an act of ‘getting closer by separation’. Find it strange? I doubt you're the only one. In this case scenario, a person in a relationship completely fades away and has no contact with the other person. However, after a few days, weeks, or months, the person comes back either with a random Instagram message, text or by just simply showing up in person. It literally feels like someone from the DEAD has come back to life, just like zombies. Apart from ‘getting closer by separation’, some other reasons that a person might 'zombie' could be the fact that they enjoy playing with your emotions, that they want to get a reaction from you, see how much they are wanted or that they genuinely want you back.
Single people take pride in ‘what’ they are, ‘how’ they are and ‘why’ they are. However, some of them can afford to compromise their pride in return of a good cuddling season with a partner rather than simply watching Netflix while tucking their arse into bed alone. It’s usually just through the winter season, when they actually want to feel the ‘warmth’ of a relationship to make them feel alive. However, as soon as summer comes back, they want their old life back: going to beaches and hooking up with no strings attached, something that can’t be done whilst in a ‘committed relationship’.
It is literally like keeping the hopes ‘alive’ when everything seems to fade away. In short, it can be said that this term is used as an alternative to ‘playing with a person's emotions'. In this case scenario, a person sends a flirty text to the other one but with no sign of any future commitments. Many people consider this as ‘friends with benefits’. However, in the case of bread crumbs, there would probably be no ‘ACTION’ (sex). It’s simply raising the expectation bar of the other person so that he or she could give more attention to the first one. It's no wonder really, people really like attention.
No matter how diverse these terminologies are and how much they differ from each other, the fact that we need one to define our relationships is yet another thing to think about. There are now many questions that come into the picture when two people start dating each other. In the long run, such acts may destabilise their mindset towards dating and approach towards each other. At the same time, one should be aware of such terminologies to save themselves from being subjected to something they aren’t prepared for or wish to have in their lives.
Dating in the 21st century isn’t that easy anymore. Love isn’t easy, that's probably that’s why they call it love.
Written by Devashish Bhuyan for Burn the Night.
What are your thoughts on this subject? Please leave your comments in the box at the bottom!
You can give the article a 'like' and share via the buttons below!