5 Important First Date Rules for Straight Men
For the socially and morally conscious male, many of these pointers will be totally obvious. However, there is an alarming number of men who continue to break these 5 golden rules, particularly during first dates. Discover where you may have been going wrong and why these dating rules are so important.
There is a saying which goes, ‘the first impression Is the last impression’. In an age where we are choosing the love of our life by simply swiping right after looking at a person’s image, the word ‘impression’ is indeed a defining factor. In modern-day dating, your first impression is the key for your future dates. Yes, I do believe that you should better try to express your emotions during your first date rather than try to impress them, but in order to express yourself in an appropriate manner, there are certain rules and ways to do that.
No one can teach you how to LOVE a person. It just comes to you without giving any warnings, signs and ‘Tinder match’ notifications. There are no official guidelines on how to love a person, however, many experienced people who have taken the roller coaster ride of what we call ‘love’ have recommended a few tips to make your ride, a somewhat smoother one.
So here we are, listing our top 5 rules that you should follow on your first date.
Don’t get all Sherlock on her.
It okay to do your homework and prepare yourself according to that, but stereotyping her character or nature on the basis of her likes and dislikes may not be the best way to start off. Remember, for some, first dates can be all about creating an impression that can also be a fake one too. People like to try different things; probably that’s the reason why she chose you in the first place (jokes). Don’t judge her by what she wears and how she drinks and reacts on your jokes. You gotta account for first date nerves and all that. Just get to know her as a person. It also goes without saying, the more comfortable she feels around you, the more she will open up about her interests and is far more likely to show you who she really is. If this doesn't happen and you know she's still pretending to be something that she's not, it's over before it's begun. So in this instance, just enjoy pleasant conversation, say your goodbyes and thank you's when it's appropriate and part ways.
Be a gentleman; not to 'score' but to actually be one.
Everyone loves to be treated with care and respect. Entertaining the possibility that you know it, try to talk to her with respect and in a dignified manner. Listen to her and try not to intervene by proclaiming your ‘experience’ in a bragging way. When you act like a gentleman just to add a tally to your ‘score’, you start doing things that aren’t really required i.e. excessive courtesy, compliments etc. and this can make your partner really uncomfortable. She wants a lover, not a restaurant waiter with an over-exaggerated, fake French accent. If you want to be a gentleman, mean it and be one, don't pretend to be one.
Be yourself. Don’t fake it if you feel like you can’t make it.
You need to understand that the person who is on a date with you could potentially become the one who chooses to spend her life with you. So winning her heart and building a skyscraper of trust on the very foundations of lies and falsity is something that can end up slapping you really hard in the long run. You can’t fake the persona that you bragged about on your first date for the rest of your life. Just be yourself. It’s okay to admit that you still watch episodes of ‘Pokemon’ and not ‘BBC – Business News Prime Time’.
Respect her personal space and privacy.
Just because she agreed to come on a date with you, doesn’t mean she is EASY. The whole concept of someone being ‘easy’ is in itself so wrong. Consent is the key. The definition of ‘getting too physical’ can differ from person to person and hence, avoid touching her (even if it’s her hand) as it may be inappropriate in her eyes. Remember, consent before action!
Then there's the issue of privacy. Don’t try to peek into her phone or pry into her personal life unless she chooses to discuss it with you. It's not any of your business, especially when you have just met.
Don’t make the bill, a thing.
It’s the oldest and the most awkward moment that can ever happen on a date, especially if it’s the first date. Every couple has their own way of dealing with it, but it all comes with experience. There can be 2 possible case scenarios in relation to paying the bill; 1) either one of you pays the whole amount. 2) You both pay for your own portions of the bill accordingly. You could even opt for splitting the bill according to one’s salary slip, but then, no one is actually preparing for Maths Olympiad Exams. I am kidding - don’t do the latter! At the end, it just boils down to a simple and honest question and that is - ‘how would you like to go about it?’ something that you can ask for every single doubt.
Thinking too much about your first date can put an immense amount of stress on your mind. Try not to think too much about it and just be the real you. Ultimately, that’s what matters the most. But yes, in the midst of being the real YOU, don’t act like a complete douchebag by getting too carried away and ruining the very purpose of the FIRST DATE. It is meant to be special. The FIRST ones are always special.
Written by Devashish Bhuyan for Burn the Night.
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