Melissa Honey: Sex Worker Spotlight

We are back with a fiery and honest interview from a sweet-natured sex worker who is proactive on both her blog and social media account. We'd now like to introduce, Melissa Honey! Learn more about her career, interests and the obstacles surrounding sex work.

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Hi Melissa, at last we have you featured on IGNITE! Thank you for taking the time to talk with us. Let's get straight down to business...

 

How did you begin your career in sex work?

It could be a very long story... I would not exactly call it a career, as only the idea of a job i.e. “work” makes me feel enslaved! I would rather call it a very interesting, rather unusual hobby... is it extraordinary they call it?! :D

I remember… at 5 years of age, I was hiding under my parents bed and I accidentally rubbed my thighs against each other. I realised that I liked it, I just didn't know what it was… Then when I was 8 or 9 years old, when I was sat at the desk at school, I used to rub my thighs and legs; sometimes when I really wanted to pee, but the class was still on, trying desperately to “hold it”. It was then I would start getting red and sweaty but again, I liked it. A couple of times other children saw me and asked me “why are you going red?” 

I did not know… they did not know... my parents did not know either: we used to call it “the little things", I was doing “my little things.” That is the innocence of the kids at the time. 

As a teenager, I used to occasionally buy porn magazines to see, read and learn! I even bought a vibrator, but I could not use it for the obvious reason; a mechanical obstacle aka I was still a virgin… *eye roll* 

Only when I grew up, I realised that what I was doing as a kid was… masturbation! No kidding…

Then since my early twenties, I was getting on very well with blokes and would have a relationship, without having one if you know what I mean. I was quite relaxed upon meeting and dating them. I would always find something attractive about them. No specific type of guy, and they loved it… me… So, I thought "why not do it in a more organised fashion?!" *Laughing Out Loud*

Of course, there is always the trigger factor: splitting from relationships, broken heart too many times, feeling shattered, nothing left etc. You know what I mean... but I am always in love with Love

- Sorry to hear about the heartbreak, I think most of us have been there! It's great that you've always been sex-positive and that you doing something that you genuinely enjoy.

 

What’s the best thing about your work?

All of the following in no particular order:

  • Freedom. 
  • Meeting new, interesting people.
  • Being the centre of attention, without always showing it! 
  • The challenge.
  • Change: for me, boredom is a killer.
  • I call it: “the art of seduction.”
  • Did I mention… sex?

What I love most is that you can consider me as, your sex therapist that will set your pulse racing, as the mirror of your soul. I will see through your eyes to the depths of your inner thoughts… and I will treat you right.

- Wow! It just proves that there's a lot more to desire than what meets the eye! We can always get behind the concept of working on your own terms and doing what your passionate about. Plus, sex FTW! 

 

How do you discern which clients to accept?

There are online forums and platforms where people seek and people offer. These websites allow feedback, so this gives users a good insight into the person to meet. Also prior to any arrangements, a telephone conversation is mandatory for me, as this can tell me how serious they are about meeting me. 

- It's great to hear that other sex workers are providing useful information online about clients. Safety is important and no one wants to deal with a timewaster!

 

Do you feel that sex work affects romantic relationships?

The truth is that any type of work may affect romantic relationships… unfortunately. For example; long hours, work away from home, being separated in general… that’s everywhere. Also in particular, when both parties do not belong to the same line of work, they don’t understand each other, although this is not always the case.

It also depends on how the partners have been brought up, the influences and experiences they have had. Sometimes jealousy factors come into play, for example a partner (ex- now) told me  “you have fucked more than I have.” What should I say to that?! *Laughing so hard*

Nevertheless, an ex- of mine contacted me… again… after 10 years since we split up! Not to mention, my last ex still texts me and sends me messages on WhatsApp. Sometimes I just don’t understand men… *Eye roll*

- Haha! Why am I not surprised... We as human beings are indecisive and impulsive, plus I imagine a lot of people in this position can't get passed their possessiveness or jealousy. It's good to work it out early on if this is going to be an issue.

Do you think the topic of sex has become less taboo in the eyes of the public?

Hmm… watch the ads on TV, the ads at the cinema, listen to song lyrics etc. Sex hints here, sex hints there and everywhere. Hence, no sex actually shown anywhere as such, unless we seek the “special channels.”

So I'd say it is more accepted nowadays but I can also say, not enough though. There are those people who feel threatened that they will lose their partner or spouse if sex work was widely accepted. Let me be clear here: I am a woman and if a man seeks my company, it is not because I am after him. I do not chase men! The man who seeks paid companionship will do it anyway, no matter what. 

It’s not my fault. “I’m only human after all, you’re only human after all; don’t put YOUR blame on me.”  

It's just like the old saying: Is it the chicken or the egg?

That also applies of course, to the male sex entertainers with female clients.

Then there is the social media issue: people do not want to be associated or linked to you if they see you entertain through the adult industry or in show biz in general. 

- Sadly, I believe you are right. We know a number of people operating within the adult industry that are still being discriminated against and are having to deal with harassment from the general public, both on and offline. 

 

How do you feel about the Government’s current stance on adult work?

Do they have a serious one? Like other aspects, where they get a “politically correct” approach for the “eyes of the public” such as health, education and other public services, but they do not really do anything substantial to improve the situation. This question alone can lead to a whole series of others. 

The more restrictions that are imposed and the more don’ts there are, the more problems will occur. You see it’s all about understanding human psychology: we want something we are not allowed to have. 

The Government need to clamp down on illegal human trafficking and not go after adult people who decide to get into the adult industry without harming anybody, and on the contrary, providing such a personalised private service.

- Again, it is a huge problem on the political front. The current laws seem to do more for protecting trolls and abusers than those who operate in adult. Human trafficking is a huge problem also. More needs to be done in relation to safeguarding those who are at risk.

 

If you could change anything in the world, what would it be?

It would be to exterminate greed.

- Great answer!

 

What are your dreams, goals or aspirations?

I am happy to say that I have achieved most of the goals set mainly by my family and the society that I was brought up in. *bitter smile* 

I am happier to say that now I am living my dream…at last! Yes, the way you see it: 

  • Not “politically correct”, extravagant, at the extremes of the Gaussian distribution for some, interesting, inspiring and full of challenges for others.
  • No, I am not your average everyday girl. I did not go to drama school, although I did go to University, but I am trying to be an actress here. *big smile*

I had the balls… well rather the vagina (as somebody correctly said that balls are weak, whereas vagina takes a good pounding; fact!) to break free… *laughing big time here*

When I get older, I will have my photos and films to remember my former “glory”. When I am not on this world any more, some of my photos and films will be there, keeping me alive; just like in any other form of art! 

- What a great way to leave your legacy. We have a lot of appreciation for the arts, I think photography and film are the perfect means for doing just that.

 

What’s your favourite travel destination and why?

Born in France and of Greek origin, the answer is probably obvious: Côte d’Azur in France and anywhere in Greece!

- Very nice! I've yet to visit Greece but it's certainly on the destinations list.

 

What’s the funniest date you’ve had?

I had moved to an accommodation; there was a guy staying next to me, at the room number 5. I would be in room number 6. He was kind enough to show me around. Between our two rooms there was another room. “And what is this room?” he asked. Room number was… 6x. I quickly replied: “That’s the room for… sex!” *laughs*

We flirted for a while and then on that day of the Football Match Finals between France and Greece (I was torn between the two teams), when Greece won, I started to jump up and down from excitement; he grabbed me to calm me down… and we ended up down on the bed in the 6x room making mad love for the rest of the night. 

- That sounds pretty unexpected! It's usually moments such as this that are the most passion filled!

 

Who inspires you the most and why?

Tina Turner.

One would never guess that a 60+ year young sings with such a passion and deep voice and jumps up and down on stage with more enthusiasm and energy than a 25 year old…

If she can and has made it, then I can and will make it!

- Ah yes! Tina's a fantastic performer, singer and symbol for female empowerment. With your awareness and determination, we believe you can too! 

 

Thank you once again for joining us Melissa, it was great to hear your journey. We wish you all the best!

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope it was useful and enlightening.

 

Want to follow Melissa Honey?

Twitter: @MelissaHoneyEsc

Website: melissahoney.co.uk